Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we're making bets on your personal life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize