just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
