I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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