why didn't you poke me back
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
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