just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
