i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
