I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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