Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
