Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
