I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i think i have herpe
just one?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He felt like a one man threesome
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
