some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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