this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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