Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
