hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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