i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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