Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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