wat bout pragnant strippers??
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
