I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize