I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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