also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
