Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Vodka?
Forever.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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