So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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