Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
