What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
