using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
