You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
