The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize