I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
