The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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