Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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