i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
