i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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