i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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