My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
