There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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