I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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