At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
