if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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