i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
