In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
