Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
