who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
