that's an acceptable place to lick
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
