If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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