what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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