I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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