You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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