btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
