Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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