It's like a parade of train wrecks.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
