Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
