his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
