I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
You can't special order awesome
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
