the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
