im drinking this country out of the recession.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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