have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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