on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize