We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
My breasts were aching with rage.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
