I wish I could teleport
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
