everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
