living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
