What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
