Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You did what with his pubic hair?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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